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Old 09-19-2005, 07:12 PM
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Default Value of Self

Value of Self
By Rodney Evan

"My dear friend, what indeed marks a man, and allows him to be remembered beyond the scope of his lifespan?"


Excerpt from "letters to Carla: Chasing My Heart"


Letters to Carla 8/9/2001
Value of Self

My Dear Carla,

Trusting of heart this communiqué finds you perched in peace and splendor, on your side of the mountain. What marks us in excellence in this journey and passage of life do you think my dear? Is it our achievements, our collection of friends we have adorned ourselves with, and gather unto ourselves as one collects seashells by the shore! Is it our observance of the beauty of life that unravels about us daily? Is it building a name for ourselves that is revered among men, and cast down from one generation to another, praised and remembered upon the lips of others? Is it the building of a family planted in love and gentleness? Is it the ability to create? Does fierceness mark us in distinction as some of the warriors of old we read about in our history books as children? Is it indeed the kindness we attempt to shower upon our fellow man? Or the ability we seek to improve upon, in the arena of forgiveness and grace? Does the ability to create mark us in remembrance and excellence, or merely is it the attempt made?

Yes, Carla, I wonder this day, are we marked indeed by our attaining and grasping these attributes, or are we remembered as well for our attempt if we fail? I have read seldom of men who were remembered fondly for their failures to achieve excellence in these areas, so I guess perhaps my question is answered! Do our only judges of excellence remain the historians indeed? Or does there lay judges of a differing quality and kind, that grade us eternally for our attempts, as well as our attained achievements? Does the man who has been afforded less in the way of opportunity get judged on a sliding scale of sorts to make the final analysis and assessment more fair and equitable?

Yes, my dear friend, what indeed marks a man, and allows him to be remembered beyond the scope of his lifespan? Why are so many adorned in noticeable accomplishments and achievements, while masses of others seem to go unnoticed in life completely? Royalty surely gets the more nods in society verses the common man, so it would appear. So does the answer lie in the quality of blood that runs hot through our veins I wonder? If so, are transfusions available to allow the common man to walk in a regal manner I wonder and ponder of heart this day! Obviously, achievements in the realm and arena of academia can boost a man beyond his pedestrian lot in life at times, as well as creative genius displayed as well! But I have noticed in my lifetime, that even those of common background and breeding that attain such levels of accomplishment are still rendered, as well as remembered often in their common color, as if all are truly shocked by their accomplishments! So I guess one never sheds a common cloak of breeding, as well as a background sprinkled in simple, slander and the what not! So is a man of common breeding ever really accepted in the court of Kings and Queens? Or is he merely viewed as an oddity in his masterful accomplishments! Somewhat like a mongrel dog that has been cleaned up and groomed nicely enough in order to almost pass as pure blooded! Do men's accomplishments no matter how astounding ever catapult him out of the realm of common, or does he indeed just merely become a spectacle of common breeding dressed up as royalty?

Carla, you think my mind spends too much time on this issue I am sure! Perhaps it is the adoption issue that spawns so many of these decorated thoughts! Yes, one advantage to knowing not ones background as well as breeding is this, I could indeed be of royal blood! As well as not! Fine Rodney, just how does that fact color your life differently this day? It does not! Except in thinking that I perhaps have royalty flooding my veins, perhaps lends itself to a sense of importance as well as value that I think all men seek to cozy up to from time to time!

Yes, Carla, I shall admit and confess this day of heart, that in the whole scope of things, I feel quite unimportant! Yes, perhaps that speaks volumes in connection to my child born insecurities that still haunt me this day! To be important is to be needed! I feel neither! Can you understand my words this day my dearest friend of heart? One's necessity in life is contingent on the fact that others require his assistance and company in life in order to survive in loveliness and splendor! I offer this to no man! The proof is the isolated world I dwell in surrounded by few who require me at all for any reason! Related to the essentiality of life! That renders me unimportant! When one studies the opposite side and spectrum of importance, they would find my heart dancing there in solitude! Yes, Carla, all men seek to be needed and required by others, it is what propels and energizes parents and lovers alike, as well as friends! To be of vital importance, to simply be needed! The isolated man can find little to sustain this notion in his life! So indeed many common and alone among us set out on journeys in order to paint ourselves into a place where we are required and needed by others, it is our only way to feel important! To try to excel in order to catch the approving eye of mankind as well as the judges of our eternal future! Some rather many are born into a structure of family that unfolds itself naturally lending itself to this notion of value, while others strive daily in life in order to achieve some tiny pathetic portion of same said aforementioned value! Shall the poor tattered soul imbedded in such a state of lacking value ever find this valley of reigning importance and acceptance? Shall he ever spark the desire to try?

Some do I imagine, some never do, as well I am sure! But there lies indeed an invisible wall between those that are born into this security of need and feeling required daily, verses those that were not! Yes, and the 'were nots' are destined to scale their way through life attempting to discover even a small morsel of this value that prompts and inspires men to live and climb in excellence and beauty! The golden boy born into family and love, never has to face such questions of value of self, being daily reminded in love of his value and importance to others! While the other fellow spends his entire life wondering how to find and discover a speck of the same! It is a lifelong venture these poor souls have been enlisted in, It requires daily attempts to find beauty within themselves hopefully that will one day render them desirable, wanted, and of value!

The discarded and lost puppy wanders aimlessly around daily feeling this distinct difference between himself verses the other dogs he meets being walked by others in love! Yes, it requires great perseverance and courage for the lonely puppy to convince himself of self-value and importance, when others by their rejection and indifference, definitely send a differing message! He walks daily in a world of make believe picturing himself as one of these he meets daily, which are kept in nice safe yards with plenty of attention food and water and the lot! Yes, people occasionally will stop and stroke him and tell him he will be ok! But they then disappear quickly, and he sits yet still alone! Yes, the words encourage little! And the pet disappears quickly from his unshiny coat! So he meanders on in life attempting to remember the last pet that has already faded in memory along with the words of encouragement! Oh he gets by! Scavenging and bottom feeding, and gleaning the morsels of life discarded by others, but he lacks importance! As his life would readily paint! When given a chance in a new home, this puppy will be given visitor status! Not the same as being born into! All accept stray puppies with the same words on their lips! We shall give it a try and see how he works out! No, the puppy seldom stands a chance! The first mistake he makes he is gone! For he lacks value! No money was spent on him as one would spend on a pure breed that shall because of its value receive more chances indeed!

Yes, it is an upscale journey indeed for the lost and of little value! They must attempt to make their mark in the world with little assistance! Only driven daily by their inherent need and desire to be of value to someone! Somewhere in time! Keep pursuing my little puppy; perhaps it lays in wait for you indeed, just around the next corner!

Yours in affection,
Rodney
__________________
The Bard


It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.


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Old 10-01-2005, 05:20 PM
wintertao wintertao is offline
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Default Re: Value of Self

Exquisite opening:

"

Trusting of heart this communiqué finds you perched in peace and splendor, on your side of the mountain. What marks us in excellence in this journey and passage of life do you think my dear? Is it our achievements, our collection of friends we have adorned ourselves with, and gather unto ourselves as one collects seashells by the shore!

"


there are quite a few beautiful lines to follow - a prudent edit of the middle and end would make this more powerful - again an overuse of the exclamation point. It begins to lose its effectiveness....like someone who always smiles...are they really happy?
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  #3  
Old 07-31-2011, 01:01 AM
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Default Re: Value of Self

bump, because
I ran across a guest reading this piece
I Had not read it in years,

I now remember the piece by this long paragraph
maybe the entire letter should have been that length
to date I'm gratefull Carla induged me,


Quote:
The discarded and lost puppy wanders aimlessly around daily feeling this distinct difference between himself verses the other dogs he meets being walked by others in love! Yes, it requires great perseverance and courage for the lonely puppy to convince himself of self-value and importance, when others by their rejection and indifference, definitely send a differing message! He walks daily in a world of make believe picturing himself as one of these he meets daily, which are kept in nice safe yards with plenty of attention food and water and the lot! Yes, people occasionally will stop and stroke him and tell him he will be ok! But they then disappear quickly, and he sits yet still alone! Yes, the words encourage little! And the pet disappears quickly from his unshiny coat! So he meanders on in life attempting to remember the last pet that has already faded in memory along with the words of encouragement! Oh he gets by! Scavenging and bottom feeding, and gleaning the morsels of life discarded by others, but he lacks importance! As his life would readily paint! When given a chance in a new home, this puppy will be given visitor status! Not the same as being born into! All accept stray puppies with the same words on their lips! We shall give it a try and see how he works out! No, the puppy seldom stands a chance! The first mistake he makes he is gone! For he lacks value! No money was spent on him as one would spend on a pure breed that shall because of its value receive more chances indeed!

Yes, it is an upscale journey indeed for the lost and of little value! They must attempt to make their mark in the world with little assistance! Only driven daily by their inherent need and desire to be of value to someone! Somewhere in time! Keep pursuing my little puppy; perhaps it lays in wait for you indeed, just around the next corner!

Yours in affection,
Rodney
__________________
The Bard


It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.



Last edited by Bard; 07-31-2011 at 01:07 AM.
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