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Old 09-13-2010, 08:45 PM
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Leafing thru some scripts i've done nothing with but store...figured I might as well share them... hell that's what they're for

---------------------------------------------------------------------




Jump…straight off the cliff from pan to flame only a name
Only the same as the same…and so perceptions aim and claim
Versed and up against so my speech settles in psalms
I don’t shake the hand of oppression because the oil spills in palms
Allegation has an army on all sides dug in like vermin
So I peace angelic legions to exterminate the burden
Words spirit and life and the such can be undone
Even in forward motion like the moon sets for the sun
Joined in marathon…carry the dead to finish lines
Like Siamese joined at shoulder blades can’t shrug off the other side
Deep ends I frequent swim through the night astounding
I splash myself to smile though it may look like I am drowning
Tales of the inhuman acts of valiance set and perfect
With 10 leaf ends in two streets the table’s still can’t aid my service
Willing…when your will accepts the necessity to wail
And meets collision with a decision instead of deciding it should fail

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain

Cause defines you deep inside you purpose grabs the worth of self
No ball point jester to prescriptions that’s the worth of something else
Response is the inevitable searing light that’s undenied
When it shines into the life that is seen by life and thus combines
You can chase respect or fight against its absence or its merit
Or you can remember you were born fearless and find a mirror so you can share it
Every action a eulogy soon to be or just ignore
And keep acting like there’s more to life than there was moments before

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain
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  #2  
Old 09-13-2010, 09:52 PM
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Default Re: Jump

Quote:
Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain

Naturally I love this stanza, that it stands upon.

i read this several but want to read it a few m ore times tomorrow
before i comment too much, well i went ahead and commented as you can readily see. I hope I did not confuse you OR offend you, I seldom if ever have disected a piece ever, nor was it my intent

There are several lines I love, I must ask

Did you mean jester, or gesture?


Quote:
No ball point jester to prescriptions that’s the worth of something else

I originally emboldened lines that grabbed me, then erased it all, but will begin with that I think




Quote:
Leafing thru some scripts i've done nothing with but store...figured I might as well share them... hell that's what they're for

Someone asked me once if i was writing to be read or writing to be heard , Im still not certain what she meant, the above statement made me recall that

---------------------------------------------------------------------




Jump…straight off the cliff from pan to flame only a name
Only the same as the same…and so perceptions aim and claim
Versed and up against so my speech settles in psalms

This line fascinated me, wondering about it, as if the words are dropped and we just pen them as scribes?



I don’t shake the hand of oppression because the oil spills in palms
Allegation has an army on all sides dug in like vermin
So I peace angelic legions to exterminate the burden
Words spirit and life and the such can be undone
Even in forward motion like the moon sets for the sun
Joined in marathon…carry the dead to finish lines

The above lines spelled compassion to me, a sadness of what is,seeming touch of futility to boot, helplessness? Compassion on a global level yet personal resting the weight upon your shoulders insofar as the pain and suffering

Like Siamese joined at shoulder blades can’t shrug off the other side


This line stands alone

Deep ends I frequent swim through the night astounding
I splash myself to smile though it may look like I am drowning
Tales of the inhuman acts of valiance set and perfect
With 10 leaf ends in two streets the table’s still can’t aid my service
Willing…when your will accepts the necessity to wail


The above two lines were compelling to me
And meets collision with a decision instead of deciding it should fail

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain

Cause defines you deep inside you purpose grabs the worth of self
No ball point jester to prescriptions that’s the worth of something else
Response is the inevitable searing light that’s undenied
When it shines into the life that is seen by life and thus combines

You can chase respect or fight against its absence or its merit
Or you can remember you were born fearless and find a mirror so you can share it

The above stanza my favorite
The last line leaves me wondering if you want it, or truly believe it, or both ?
either way, compelling again

Every action a eulogy soon to be or just ignore

And keep acting like there’s more to life than there was moments before

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain


I hope you dont mind the disecting, if its to disheveled
you will not offend me if you dont understand anything im saying, a bit tired on my end if it (my responce appears) fragmented

I do wonder about the scribe thing, do you pen to the voice inside at times? or do you compose? Or both?, again if its all too odd I understand

PS, I think gesture OR gester would work, I lOVE JESTER, if that was in fact the intended word, if so its a geinus line
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It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.



Last edited by Bard; 09-13-2010 at 10:11 PM.
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  #3  
Old 09-13-2010, 10:07 PM
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Default Re: Jump

Quote:
Originally Posted by CooCooTheLooseScrew
Leafing thru some scripts i've done nothing with but store...figured I might as well share them... hell that's what they're for

---------------------------------------------------------------------




Jump…straight off the cliff from pan to flame only a name
Only the same as the same…and so perceptions aim and claim
Versed and up against so my speech settles in psalms
I don’t shake the hand of oppression because the oil spills in palms
Allegation has an army on all sides dug in like vermin
So I peace angelic legions to exterminate the burden
Words spirit and life and the such can be undone
Even in forward motion like the moon sets for the sun
Joined in marathon…carry the dead to finish lines
Like Siamese joined at shoulder blades can’t shrug off the other side
Deep ends I frequent swim through the night astounding
I splash myself to smile though it may look like I am drowning
Tales of the inhuman acts of valiance set and perfect
With 10 leaf ends in two streets the table’s still can’t aid my service
Willing…when your will accepts the necessity to wail
And meets collision with a decision instead of deciding it should fail

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain

Cause defines you deep inside you purpose grabs the worth of self
No ball point jester to prescriptions that’s the worth of something else
Response is the inevitable searing light that’s undenied
When it shines into the life that is seen by life and thus combines
You can chase respect or fight against its absence or its merit
Or you can remember you were born fearless and find a mirror so you can share it
Every action a eulogy soon to be or just ignore
And keep acting like there’s more to life than there was moments before

Should it fail…sure as shit, sure as food clothing and shelter
Should I wail…sure as sons, brothers and daughters need each other
Will it hurt…like nothing you’ve endured, envisioned or explained
Will we heal…Yes even stronger there is victory in pain


Short version.

I find it complex at every level yet personal
mysterious, veiled yet not
hard to tell if the veil is intended
or the intention is to unveil?
Confession couched in pensive and guarded somewhat.
then again that simply is a kneejerk off the top of my head responce,

important to note I read it more times than i ever read a piece
its layered,(multi-level) more can be gleened at every level at every reading

I walked away sated, yet still hungry,

I think thats a good thing
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It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.



Last edited by Bard; 09-13-2010 at 11:11 PM.
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  #4  
Old 09-13-2010, 10:20 PM
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CooCooTheLooseScrew CooCooTheLooseScrew is offline
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Default Re: Jump

It is the intended line... and the description of the one yielding the prescription pad, who's words are all to often mistake'n for identity by there patient...



I dig the disection... It will give me a chance to lean into one of my own pieces..which i seldom get to do... and add some explantion which again... is a rare experience when it comes to my poetry/music etc.

"Versed and up against so my speech settles in psalms"

What I was saying there is... My expression was bringing constant confrontation, in conversation, in my day to day life... pushing away to intensely people I wished to earnestly influence positively... and I found that I was able to communicate wisely, by becomming simple, softer, and short windend in my speech... without loseing the depth of my expression...like a psalm..





"I don’t shake the hand of oppression because the oil spills in palms
Allegation has an army on all sides dug in like vermin
So I peace angelic legions to exterminate the burden
Words spirit and life and the such can be undone
Even in forward motion like the moon sets for the sun
Joined in marathon…carry the dead to finish lines"

Here i'm saying the adversarial ebb and flow is constant... and thus I give up what I can not take the time nor have the skill to eviserate to higher powers...which then free me to undo that which i've created...that which is a detriment... Not to erase it... because we can not... however, we can undo our words and manifestations... the last line there depicts the fact that those lessons stay with us to the end... in short



"Cause defines you deep inside you purpose grabs the worth of self
No ball point jester to prescriptions that’s the worth of something else
Response is the inevitable searing light that’s undenied
When it shines into the life that is seen by life and thus combines
You can chase respect or fight against its absence or its merit
Or you can remember you were born fearless and find a mirror so you can share it"


Response to one allowing there cause and purpose to define them is joining of the such between two like beings...or others whom allow themselves to be defined by what is there cause... the last line there is just telling the reader not to forget to remind themselves in the future of there discovery...



I enjoy this... i will return to this piece again and maybe have better words to convey my intentions as it is written..

Ty for your time Sir Bard...
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:29 PM
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CooCooTheLooseScrew CooCooTheLooseScrew is offline
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Default Re: Jump

"I find it complex at every level yet personal
mysterious, veiled yet not
hard to tell if the veil is intended
or the intention is to unveil?
Confession couched in pensive and guarded somewhat.
then again that simply is a kneejerk off the top of my head responce,"



I do compose... the veil is natural...and i think the intention is to unveil... it's almost code... My poetry has alwayz been like that... I found myself thru the years yearning for someone to just get it... but I think that was a mistake I made... and it caused frustration and alienation... tho once in awhile someone blows me away by really feeling my words... then the childish frustations give way to inspiration... seems a cycle i went thru... wise to it now... I am at peace with my expressions and where they work... I most definately wasn't alwayz tho...


HOw do I quote in a box like you do...I forgot
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Last edited by CooCooTheLooseScrew; 09-13-2010 at 10:32 PM.
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  #6  
Old 09-13-2010, 10:42 PM
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Default Re: Jump

"you will not offend me if you dont understand anything im saying"


You know Sir Bard... I read that and laughed my ass off...because... I could say the same exact thing to you...and it makes all the same sense


really it does!! lol
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  #7  
Old 09-13-2010, 10:51 PM
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Default Re: Jump

Quote:
"Versed and up against so my speech settles in psalms"

What I was saying there is... My expression was bringing constant confrontation, in conversation, in my day to day life... pushing away to intensely people I wished to earnestly influence positively... and I found that I was able to communicate wisely, by becomming simple, softer, and short windend in my speech... without loseing the depth of my expression...like a psalm..
This falls in line with the lady/friend that asked me once
Do you write to be heard or read?

i appreciate the time and explaination
I seldom meddle nor take liberties
I have long known the code was there
yet the desire as well to be understood

One thing that has always walked hand in hand
and clasped tightly at that
is your sincere emotion, that has never failed in regard to you words inked
I have always heard the wail, woe cry and elation and the entire spectrum
of emotions that grace your pen..

To me, that is the important truth insofar as what we convey
is there raw worth, to the bone emotion, passion
worth investigating?

I have never had time to figure out puzzles lacking soul, purpose and worth
passion, heart, soul are the sleleton that spahes us in worth as artists writers
poets ans somgwriters, can you see mty heart as I raise and wave my hand in desperation to finally be noticed, understood and recognised for that which I am,

No matter what it is, if ots REAL, it is worthy,
we convey, a bridge of hope to annother. we offer our scars as a penned condolance,, which often we are ONLY acle to do by pen
our boat and vessel that takes us on this tour and journey, and expedition into
ourselves others, and beyond....

What you have always had, was truth, real, raw conveyance
of emotion, to me, there is no higher form of caring with respect to writing
real is rare, shallow litters the highways of life

wading through the fake commercial fake garbage is what is tedious
in your case, that is someting none ever need to fear
your depth in words daunting at times, (tio me anyway) yet, that is a good thing to my way of thinking, reaching is good, if good truly is the prize....
one obtains for the journey spent


Peace & always an honor
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It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.



Last edited by Bard; 09-13-2010 at 10:52 PM.
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  #8  
Old 09-13-2010, 11:00 PM
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Default Re: Jump

At times what we once viewed as compromise
becomes a good thing, if our intention, is to truly convey
something, if a type of compromise can allow the communication to be
better comprehended, then it is no longer a compromise but rather a stepping stone laced in wisdom, adding a nicer bow to the package that MORE folk are able to benefit from it,

If our intent is to give, then we want
to naturally touch as many as we can
if simpicity is that key, we become humbled by realizing it.
Then, we all are blessed, in the sharing of that gift
of tossing words, representing our hearts to parchment
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  #9  
Old 09-13-2010, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Jump

Quote:
Originally Posted by CooCooTheLooseScrew
"you will not offend me if you dont understand anything im saying"


You know Sir Bard... I read that and laughed my ass off...because... I could say the same exact thing to you...and it makes all the same sense


really it does!! lol

I laughed out loud!

First time in awhile..a gift lol
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  #10  
Old 09-13-2010, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Jump

Heard or Read... Heard when i'm writeing it... Read When I go thru a script and tailor it for reading... adjusting the rhyme scheme to its potential as it is read... alwayz to be shared... I don't write without the intention to share it... Tho at times its intention was to be shared with me...and I didn't know it when I was penning it... you know how that goes...



Most appreciated you taking the time to run thru this with me...

I'm off to slumber... The little ones will be here bright and early... I'm take'n Helena to her first day of pre-school tomarrow... I get to to stay with her on her first day... I can't wait... My sons was today... we had a blast... Tomarrow is me in a room of 19 3 year olds and at least one of there parents... can you imagine ...lol... The coral snake tattoo from my left elbow to the top of my hand alwayz makes an impression with the parents...lol...

thanks again Sir... Cya in the marrow....


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