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Old 09-27-2010, 12:06 AM
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Default Quietly

Something I wrote awhile back.. Think it'd sound good accompanied by an accoustic guitar... It's kinda mushy but i'm kinda mushy so...



Quietly


How can one remember, when love… is a ghost?
And how can one beg her…when one…has the most?
If there’s nothing here again…then I’m anxious to confide.
In the something that has been born…each time…that I have died.
I heard a woman teaching…words I fought…to ignore.
The promise she was bleeding…would make her mine no more.
How can one forget, when love…is a ghost?
Haunting every subtlety…reassuring…it’s been lost.
If it’s nothing that has found us…then nothing had a home.
And I was only in the way…of a something that has come.

I am bound to every breath I take, as every words consumed.
I wish I hadn’t said so much…seems in wishing there is truth.
Silence is my only way…of keeping my words noosed.
I wish I hadn’t said so much…because I wished for you.

How can one remember, when love… is a ghost?
And how can one beg her…when one…has the most?
If I’m nobody to comfort her…Then I’m praying she will find.
Some-body to protect her…from the pains she has prescribed.
I once listened to a man…he whispered when he spoke.
The promises you’re making…they are yours alone.
How can one forget, when love…is a ghost?
Wandering thru time and space…looking for it’s own.
If I’m nobody to turn to…then I’m praying she will see.
Some-body who will know the way…if some-body isn’t me…
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Old 09-27-2010, 12:44 AM
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Default Re: Quietly

Quote:
Something I wrote awhile back.. Think it'd sound good accompanied by an accoustic guitar... It's kinda mushy but i'm kinda mushy so...
I liked the above intro, Im merely going to highlight the lines I fell in love with initially, then ill give it a further whirl down the line, first off I liked it a LOT less codelike, works for a simple ma such as I

If it’s nothing that has found us…then nothing had a home.
This is a magnificent lin, It could stand alone
it stopped my heart, i truned the tv off, thea air off
'It deserved quiet'
Nay, it commaned it,
Abrilliant poet once reviewed a piece of mine
Called me a 'seanachie' he said something you said, that the beginning of the piece commans the reader, commits him to read to the end compelled,
The greatest compliment perhaps wever I recieved
that line commanded reverance,
Enough for tonight, I liked it because you droped your guard
You stripped your hear
it struck me as honest, quiet is a grand title,

Being us is a bitch when its not right for the one we love
speaking for myself, I heard my own confession
leaving me vilunerable

Good stuff, mushy? I didnt think so, yet im a mushy guy
there were some stunning lines, ive seldom read anything
that seemed perfect BUT, I have read some things that FELT perfect.
And this felt perfect,
And that to me, is the gift of rhe quill.

More another time, i feel sated, as if after dining well.
PS, I don't do flattery, so you can be assured I mean what I say.
But in this case could not have said it any better than you did

I bow.............

Quietly


How can one remember, when love… is a ghost?
And how can one beg her…when one…has the most?
If there’s nothing here again…then I’m anxious to confide.
In the something that has been born…each time…that I have died.
I heard a woman teaching…words I fought…to ignore.
The promise she was bleeding…would make her mine no more.
How can one forget, when love…is a ghost?
Haunting every subtlety…reassuring…it’s been lost.
If it’s nothing that has found us…then nothing had a home.
And I was only in the way…of a something that has come.

I am bound to every breath I take, as every words consumed.
I wish I hadn’t said so much…seems in wishing there is truth.
Silence is my only way…of keeping my words noosed.
I wish I hadn’t said so much…because I wished for you.


Yeah.

How can one remember, when love… is a ghost?
And how can one beg her…when one…has the most?
If I’m nobody to comfort her…Then I’m praying she will find.
Some-body to protect her…from the pains she has prescribed.
I once listened to a man…he whispered when he spoke.
The promises you’re making…they are yours alone.

How can one forget, when love…is a ghost?
Wandering thru time and space…looking for it’s own.
If I’m nobody to turn to…then I’m praying she will see.
Some-body who will know the way…if some-body isn’t me…
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It is the bulk of a life lived, that defines a man, not merely
a chapter, moment, nor day.



Last edited by Bard; 09-27-2010 at 06:07 PM.
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  #3  
Old 09-27-2010, 05:46 PM
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CooCooTheLooseScrew CooCooTheLooseScrew is offline
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Default Re: Quietly

Thank you my friend... I do love this piece myself... I read it from time to time to see if I could add to it or change it and I never do... I'm glad you felt this one... I don't write like this often... but once in awhile i find relief in this type of expression...

I appreciate your comments and thoughts...

Respectfully
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